A Wilderness Experience – 10/21/06

A Wilderness Experience

I hate the wilderness.  Those patches in life where the going is tough and God doesn’t seem to respond to our cries for help.  I’ve been here before and it has been helpful to reread journal entries and passages from books such as “He’s Closer Than you Think” by John Ortberg.  My daily mantra is becoming

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.  The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.”         Habakkuk 3:17-19

I can’t say that I always feel like rejoicing but I sure am trying.  You can imagine what a relief it is to open Ken Gire’s book “Windows of the Soul” and find that he’s been here before:

“I was scared still one minute; spitting mad the next.  Was that what God was wanting to do with me?  Draw me close?  Give me shelter, food, look after me?  But the shelter I was wanting was the security of a job, not the security of His arms.  The food I was wanting was from the grocery store, not from His hand.  And I could look after myself – thank you very much – I just needed a break, that was all.”

It’s so hard to give everything up to God.  To even understand what “giving everything up” really means.  But I am learning a hard lesson about placing my security in God and not in a job.  Last night was the first night I’ve slept through in Portland and I think it’s because I deliberately put “JOB” out of my head and put “GOD” in. 

Still battling through this wilderness…

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One Response to “A Wilderness Experience – 10/21/06”

  1. VALERIE March 2, 2012 at 10:26 pm #

    I KNOW IM IN IT NOW..BUT ONE THING I DO KNOW FOR SURE..100%..GOD IS HERE WITH US AND HE DOES KNOW OUR TRUDGING IN THIS DRY PLACE,,AND HE PROMISES ,,NOT TO PUT US OUT ON TH STREET AND BEG,,HE ALSO PROMISES US WE WILL NOT BE FORSAKEN,,HE WILL TAKE CARE OF US…ITS JUST DIFFERENT THEN WE ARE USED TO..I DONT EVEN HAVE ACAR RIGHT NOW..BUT HE GOT ME AN APT FOR 195,00..A MONTH AND ITS NEW AND LARGE..HE DOES FEED US AND TAKE CARE OF US..IN A STRANGE WAY..BUT HE IS WITH US..ALWAYS..

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