LBS and PDA in the Grocery Store

5 May

Today has been a rough day for me.  As my doctor pointed out when he diagnosed me with an ear infection, strep throat and mild pneumonia, I am an over-achiever.  Even when it comes to getting sick.  I thought I had a common cold.  Apparently, it’s a little less common.

So it has been quite the underwhelming day around here.  Usually, I have a long run in the morning and then cleaning the apartment and errands and homework and fun activities in the afternoon and evening.  This weekend was going to be my first without homework so I was especially excited.

Instead, the highlights were as follows:

  • Turning the “making ice” setting on in my freezer.
  • Taking out the trash.  Getting the mail.
  • Doing a load of laundry including clean sheets.
  • Writing a Mother’s Day card, a birthday card and planning my meals for the week.
  • Making a shopping list.
  • Eating a Greek yogurt.
  • Making a chocolate almond milk smoothie.
  • Watching lots of Netflix while huddled under a blanket.
  • Taking meds every 3-4 hours. Which you aren’t supposed to take on an empty stomach but I was not hungry.
  • Trying not to breathe because my throat hurt too much.
  • Having to breathe.
  • Eyes watering every time I would breathe because it hurt so much.
  • Having to cough.
  • Trying not to cough because my throat hurt so much.
  • Coughing to the point where my body couldn’t seem to stop until it was gagging on the coughs.

As you can see, it was a riveting day.  I managed a one hour nap which was definitely the highlight. Spending all day summoning the energy to go grocery shopping (on a Saturday!) was the lowlight. But by 8 pm, with no food in the house, I knew that it was time (coincidentally, my daytime cold meds ran out at 7:45 and I needed a new dose.  Suddenly, the grocery store seemed like a great outing.)

Saturday nights at the grocery store are not pleasant when you live in a city. Especially when the Red Sox aren’t playing an evening game (Shaws is dead during games).  Especially when only 2 of the 8 checkout lines are open.  And that includes the Express lanes. Especially when the people you keep running into in the aisles look and act like TBag from Prison Break and make you clutch your wallet a little closer.  Especially when you have a headache and a swollen throat and feel miserable and have incredibly low blood sugar (LBS) which makes you want to call your Mom and curl up on the floor until she arrives.

But finally, my cart was full of brown rice and Greek yogurt and bananas and onions and peppers and cans of chicken soup.  And I headed to 1 of the 2 checkout lanes prepared to go home, eat, and go to sleep.

Except that the couple in front of me was apparently not interested in their groceries.  No.  They stood in the aisle making out. Lots of PDA.  And I thought unkind thoughts like “Really?  Wow!  This must be love if you can’t keep your hands off each other long enough to unload your groceries.”  “I am so glad you are proving to all of us how deeply you care for each other by kissing when you should be paying for groceries.”  There was one break in the 7 minute lip-locking when she said “Baby, do you want a Snickers or a Reese’s?” and then giggled and tossed both on the conveyor belt and went back to kissing him. When the cashier started saying “Excuse me?  Can you either move aside or unload your cart” they were unperturbed.

Then, it happened.  The TBag ex-convicts joined the line behind me.  Actually, they did more than that. They grabbed my cart and pushed it until it shoved the affectionate couple.  And they kept shoving until the couple got the idea and started unloading their cart. With very annoyed “can’t you tell that I’m in the middle of something?” looks.  I kinda wanted to thank the scary ex-convicts behind me. Except I didn’t really want to get shanked. I may be an over-achiever but ear infection/strep throat/pneumonia/robbed/shanked/left for dead seemed like a tad too much drama for the first Saturday in May.

So I just smiled in their direction.  And then counted down the minutes until I would be home in my apartment with my precious bottle of cough syrup and the ability to ease my LBS state.

But I don’t plan on grocery shopping on a Saturday ever again.





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