How to Terrorize my Sisters at Christmas

11 Dec

It’s Christmas morning when defenses are at their lowest. When everyone has hopes and expectations and the chance of crushing those expectations is at its greatest.

There were years of squealing at certain perfect gifts.  But it’s the disaster, the horror, the disgust, the distress that sticks with me.

The Disaster – Every year of our childhood, my middle sister received some electronic gadget, remote control vehicle, or computer software.  And every year, every single year, the gadget, vehicle or software was used without instructions and was broken or in an error within minutes.

The Horror – One year my Mom mislabeled some of the gifts.  My youngest sister knew she was getting jeans from the grandparents so she eagerly opened a gift, exclaimed “My jeans!” and then pulled them out of the box.  As they unfolded, they grew larger and larger like the Christmas Tree in the Nutcracker ballet.  Turns out they were jeans…for my Dad.

The Disgust – My middle sister is pretty cool.  One year, she was obsessed with the Aliens movies.  So my brother bought Aliens 1 and Aliens 2 for her. Unfortunately, she opened Aliens 2 first, turned to my brother and said “Well, I would have preferred to own the first one!” and sorta tossed the second one aside.  Luckily, there was much thanks and squeals and apologies when she opened Aliens 1 later.

The Distress – Every Victoria Secrets box under the tree belongs to my youngest sister.  At least, that is the truth according to her.  Putting a Victoria Secrets box under the tree is like dangling catnip in front of a kitten…she cannot resist touching it, playing with it, shaking it.  But putting a Victoria Secrets box under the tree, addressed to someone else (even if the box was just the perfect size for packaging and contains a bottle of aftershave) drives her nuts.

It’s kinda fun to drive her nuts.

Terrorizing your siblings is a form of love, right?

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