Guys vs Girls: The Quest for “Meaningful”

13 Sep

Sometimes, women roll their eyes and say “Guys are so uncomplicated.”
Translation: guys are simple.  Too easy to read.  They say it like they mean it.

The truth is simply that we are envious.  Being uncomplicated is a good thing.  It has nothing to do with intelligence, nothing to do with being right, nothing to do with being better.  It’s just different. But a refreshing different.

Women, being used to complicated because that’s what we are, try to complicate things further.  I know, twisted, right?

When we say “Don’t do anything for my birthday!” a guy hears “Don’t do anything for my birthday!” and he is obedient and obliging and does nothing for your birthday.  Then you go crying to your girl friends because they all know that “doing nothing for my birthday” means “you must do something totally sweet and special and above all else meaningful which clearly shows how much you care for me and then you must do this and better next year.”

Clever guys, like the one I sat next to in class last night, do a lot of role-playing with their spouses.  They say “Hey, funny story, so my friend’s wife said to him _____ and he responded ____.  What do you think she really meant?”

Perfect, right.

Not quite. Because we are not only complicated but fickle.  Not towards people but towards our own thoughts and feelings.  We may have liked the color purple yesterday but that was yesterday.  Keep up!  Maybe this year “do nothing” means plan a surprise party.  Next year, it may mean a getaway for just the two of us.  And every year it means “write a meaningful card.”  So we may be able to translate other women for you, that doesn’t mean we can help you understand us.

I know this makes us sound complicated.  We are.  We don’t even understand how complicated.  But it also works to your advantage because our quest for “meaningful” often leads us to read into things.  You take out the garbage, we read all sorts of special messages into it.  You hum a song you heard on the radio, we assume the lyrics are coded messages for us.  You buy a 99 cent Hallmark card and write a few things inside, we assume you specifically chose that image on the front of the dog to remind us of that date when you said something sweet and that cute dog was standing there by the elderly couple on the bench who have been together forever and are still in love.  Seriously?  Admit it.  Do anything for us and we will write our own secret message.

Maybe it’s not that guys don’t want meaningful.  Maybe, to them, taking out the garbage was meaningful. Period. Full stop.  No other assurance needed.  Anticipating their needs is meaningful (i.e. buying the right kind of beer/socks/bacon).  Leaving them alone in the man cave to solve their own and their sports players problems is meaningful.

It’s just a less complicated meaningful.

To quote my Mom “I just like guys!”  I think this is why.

 

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