How To Know You’re a Red Sox or a Phillies Fan

8 Sep
  • Two of your 100 most used words are Chooch and Youk.
  • You find Red Sox and Phillies stats as engrossing as a Tom Clancy novel.
  • The words “runt” and “underdog” make you think of P. No, not Piglet.  Pedroia.
  • You can recite the Phillies pitching lineup faster than your alphabet.
  • If a non-Red Sox fan refers to Pedroia as a runt, you find yourself gnashing your teeth.
  • “What’s Up, Doc?” no longer refers to Bugs Bunny.
  • You remember where you were and what you were doing when Cliff Lee got traded.
  • When you type “You” into your phone, the interpretive text changes it to Youkilis.
  • You actually know what Chooch stands for.
  • If you had to pick a Lee to protect you, you’d bypass Jet Li and Bruce Lee in favor of Cliff Lee.
  • You grin in your sleep when the Red Sox win.
  • You wake up grinning when the Terrific Trifecta happens: Red Sox win, Yankees lose, Phillies win.
  • When the Phillies lose, it’s so rare, you check ESPN Scorecenter twice.
  • You can’t seem to toss out the Chooch and Pedroia Sports Illustrated articles even though you’ve read them eight times.
  • You wear Phillies pinstripes to MLB parks where the Phillies aren’t even playing.
  • You don’t trust Red Sox or Phillies bandwagon fans.  You actually ask people how long they’ve been fans.  Pre or Post World Series wins?
  • You’re equally excited and petrified by the thought of a World Series featuring these two teams.
  • You hate the Mets.  Oh wait.  Everyone hates the Mets.
  • You feel lost on their days off.
  • Wakefield’s 200th career win can’t come soon enough.
  • Phillies shutout games feel like a normality, not a luxury.
  • You roll your eyes when someone comments on Ellsbury or Utley’s looks.  But you know exactly how they feel.

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