A Good Soul?

30 Sep

Writing has been placed on the back burner because I’ve been so exhausted. Lack of sleep really does affect so much. Lack of sleep over a period of weeks is really mentally and physically destructive.

Plus, my brain gets overactive when I’m exhausted which keeps me awake. Last night I was thinking about the meeting with my Director today. I don’t know where I see myself in a year or five years. Or what I’ll be doing. I do that life is nothing like I wanted and expected it to be – both good and bad – so making plans seems futile. Somehow I don’t think that’s what she wants to hear.

Then there’s the issue of “good souls,” A friend and I were teasing each other about this last week and he asked me to give him a definitive answer on whether or not he has a good soul. So I did what I do best and made a list. Part funny, part serious. Which brought up all kinds of interesting points such as – is stubbornness always bad or can it be used for good? Do I have a good soul?

That last question has been haunting me. According to Jesus, the answer is simple and depends on one question. My good soul is really about him, not me. And his answer is the only one that matters.

But in my mind, somehow the good parts of me need to override the bad and I’m not sure they always do. I can think of plenty of petty jealousy and frustration from the past week.

Letting go of the Liz mindset and gaining a God mindset is not easy.

Last night I got an email saying “I don’t need to make a list to know you have a good soul.”

I’m working on seeing that as truth.

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